


Don't. Touch me, Don't. Leave me

by Indigoblau



Series: Random drabbles [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Bones, Car Accidents, Coma, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Kagami is the best friend, M/M, Murasakibara is dens as shit, Unrequited Love, poor Tatsuya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 07:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigoblau/pseuds/Indigoblau
Summary: Sometimes one has to nearly die until he realises what he holds dear.Tatsuya is a helpless idiot in love and Murasakibara takes way too long to realise he's too.





	1. Until death do us apart-

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks!
> 
> This work is dedicated to my fandom-squad Rina, Alisa, Pia and Weena <3
> 
> The prompts for this one were:  
> KnB  
> unrequited love  
> "How could you do this to me?!"  
> "Just... no."
> 
> I DIDN'T PLANNED THIS TO BE THIS LONG OMG  
> It's my first multi-chapter story and I really hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> Have a nice day!

Glass was shattered across the street, blue and red lights immersed the scene and there were people shouting.  
Tatsuya felt like he'd been run over by a truck, head pounding and body aching. He slowly tried to open his eyes he didn't realise were closed until this very moment.  
The swirling lights and the loud voices cutting through his already heavy head confused him. Even though a cold wind blew over his face he felt warm and somehow safe. It was like he was embraced by love itself.  
Tatsuya was ready to close his eyes once again and let himself drown in the soft touch from the person behind him, making him forget how much his head hurt and how hard the street underneath him was.  
He drifted away again, giving in to the warmth and his tiredness.

The next time he woke was way less comfortable. He ached all over and even though the hard street was gone, the warm embrace was too, and Tatsuya shivered.  
This only triggered more ache within his sore body and the pain somehow made his senses gain more consciousness. As he opened his eyes he was greeted with a white ceiling while he heard a soft beeping from somewhere next to him.  
He tried to turn his head to see where the sound was coming from, but he realized that he wasn't able to do so. Something blocked his neck and as he lifted a heavy arm to his head he felt the strict softness of an narrow bandage.  
Now, this was odd. Tatsuya didn't remember it being there the last time he had been awake and he had no explanation on how it got there while he was asleep.  
He tried hard to remember what had happened but all he got were the blurry memories of the red and blue lights and the caring warmth from the body next to him. How long had he been asleep?  
Why had he even been lying on the street along with someone else? It wasn't quite normal to do so, was it?  
While Tatsuya still wondered what had happened to him, he heard a noise from the other side of the room which startled him enough to forcefully turn his head to the side.  
He instantly regretted the movement, pain flooding his head and he shut his eyes close to make the black spots dancing in his visions go away.  
As the pain had faded a bit he realised that someone was talking. He couldn't make out what they were saying or who they were, but the voice was soothing and Tatsuya was close to drift into nothingness once again.  
A hand was placed on his arm and he opened his eyes coming eye to eye with a friendly looking woman with long black hair and confusingly light brown eyes.  
Tatsuya looked at her as her mouth was moving and it took him a few seconds to realize that it was her voice he was hearing. She was speaking, most likely to him, and smiled gentle at her patient.  
"Mr. Himuro?" Oh yeah. That was his name, wasn't it? "Mr. Himuro, I'm glad you are awake now!" Well, if this could even be called "awake".  
His awareness drifted away from her words but since she started examine him she probably was telling him what had happened to him. This was important, he probably should pay attention to her,  
but once the pain in his head had ebbed away to a dull throbbing, it was kind of impossible to stay conscious any longer. Once again, his mind went black.  
The third time he woke he finally really felt like it. His mind wasn't fogged by the mist of sleepiness and exhaustion. This, however, meant that he got aware of his body as well. He realised that not only his head was hurting,  
but his whole body apparently had decided to throw a tantrum and ached all over. He still was in the room with the white ceiling and now he could see that the beeping beside him was caused by a monitor.  
So, this had to be a hospital. The room was really spartanic, there were only his bed, two monitors and a IV-drip, a table with a really awful but empty vase on it and a chair were a person was sitting in, apparently asleep.  
It was a man, a boy almost, with bright red hair and broad shoulders. Carefully Tatsuya tried to sit up, only to find out that his right arm was in a cast and god dammit, it HURT.  
The little sound of pain he made as he tried to get in a sitting position startled the boy in the chair awake and he looked around the room in a sleepy daze until he realised where he was.  
He rubbed his eyes with a sleeve of his shirt and as soon as he saw that the other was awake, he shouted: "Tatsuya! You're awake!" "Tatsuya closed his eyes for a second and tried to ignore the pounding in his head,  
before he answered: "Yeah.. kinda. But if being awake means to deal with you screaming like hell, than I'd rather be asleep again, Taiga." His voice came out rough and it somehow sounded like he had a bad cold.  
"Sorry, sorry!", the redhead - Kagami Taiga - apologised with a much calmer voice. He stood up and eyed his friend with narrowed eyes. "How'ya feelin'?" "Well.. ", Tatsuya sighed, "like a truck ran over me.  
Remember that one time in America when we thought it was a good idea to challenge each other in running down all 13 stairs of the skyscraper from your apartment on all four?  
We really thought we'd never be able to walk again the day after. But ya' know. This was, like.. heaven compared to now."  
Kagami chuckled but as he spoke, he's face got serious again. "Actually, that isn't that much different than what had happened." "What?", Tatsuya raised an eyebrow, "you tellin' me I ran down stairs on all four again?  
How come I don't remember this?" Kagami took a grimace: "No, idiot! I meant the "like a truck ran over me" part." Tatsuya stared at his friend, mouth slightly agape as he tried to process what he'd just heard.  
"Oh", he finally whispered. Now it kind of made sense. Why he had memories of lying on the street with blue and red lights staining the air, why he ached all over and felt like he'd broken every single bone within his body.  
"So.. I was in a traffic accident. Do you know what exactly happened?" he asked after a short moment of silence. "Yeah, actually I know. It was a really clear evening without any rain or fog,  
but you just ran away into the street and straight in front of this bus."  
After a second, Kagami added: "Tatsuya. We've known each other for a long time now, we've spent a holy shitload of time together, so I guess, I can ask you this: Did'ya try to kill yourself?"  
His voice was barely over a whisper and it somehow sounded like he wasn't sure if he even wanted to hear the answer. Tatsuya's eyes went wide and he instinctively wanted to shook his head,  
but got once again reminded of the bandage covering his neck and his head. "Why the hell should I do something like this?!", he answered with a strained voice, eyes closed, waiting for the pain to ebb away.  
"I'm.. I'm glad you say this..! I just.. I didn't know what to think. I mean, why would one go and jump in front of a bus all of a sudden? Do you remember what happened?"  
There was an odd sound to Kagamis voice, causing Tatsuya to open his eyes again and look at his friend. Obviously it wasn't enough that he woke up after a maybe-what-why-the-hell-probably-suicide not remembering anything, no,  
now there his best friend stood, crying. CRYING. Kagami Taiga. "What the fuck. No. I mean, I don't remember anything. Just that I laid on the street and.. nothing else. Why are you crying? For fucks sake, stop it!"  
Kagami once again rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. "'m not cryin-" "Don't give me this. You totally were!"  
For a second it looked like Kagami would yell at Tatsuya, but as he spoke his voice was calm and almost back to normal: "Yeah, sorry, but it doesn't happen all day that I see my best friend try to find his superpowers or whatever the heck you were up to." Tatsuya looked to Kagami, then to his fingers, right hand bandaged, and back again at Kagami. "You.. you where there? I'm sorry, Taiga. I didn't mean to anger you. Or hurt."  
"It's okay", Kagami sighed and finally sat back on his seat. "It's okay. Yes, I was there, running some errands on the other side of the street.There's no one who can tell you more exactly what happened than me.  
Well, maybe except for him, but who knows if he's ever saying anything again." "Him?", Tatsuya asked, "who's him?" "That teammate of yours. Mr-ridiculously-big-and-theres-no-way-in-hell-that-hair-color-is-natural.  
I don't know his name." "Atsushi? He was there, too? But.. why? And what do you mean "if he's ever saying anything again"? I mean, he isn't mad at me, is he?" "I'm not sure if that's the word describing it best", Kagami said, careful of his words.  
Oh god, Tatsuya thought, probably he saw, too and now he's not mad, hes mad as fuck because I won't be able to play basketball in a ass-long-while. I'm sure, he's absolutely mad at me!  
"It's more like.." Kagami cut through his thoughts, "he isn't able to say anything at the moment, or, like maybe ever again. He jumped right after you and saved you from the bus, or at least tried to.  
Even though you suffered some serious damage, he took the major hit and probably saved your life. He's in a coma now. He has been ever since."  
At these words, Tatsuya felt his blood run ice cold.

* * *

Murasakibara Atsushi had never been a man of many words, rather, he only spoke when it was absolutely necessaire and because he almost never found an occasion really necessaire - he almost never spoke.  
He was absolutely content with just stand by, eating snack, sleep, go to school and play basketball and he didn't saw a need to change anything about this routine.  
He didn't care about what others thought of him, they weren't him after all and no one could really judge what kind of person he was beside himself. But it wasn't like Murasakibara hadn't had any friend, he was quite well liked,  
probably exactly because he didn't bother on speaking much, plus as less as he cared about his own appearance as un-picky he was regarding the persons he spent his time with. If they just got along somehow it was okay.  
That's how it had been for the last few years and Murasakibara was content with this.  
At least, he had been up until a few weeks before when he started register a change. It wasn't really that much and it came slowly, too, so it took the purple-haired-giant a hell of a while to even see that there WAS a change.  
And this change had dark hair, was a bit over 180cm big (or, compared to Murasakibara, rather short) and was named Himuro Tatsuya.  
Tatsuya had at first been nothing more than a teammate of Murasakibara, they got along quite well save for their little banter now and then over how lazy Murasakibara was,  
but they were meant friendly and Murasakibara found himself enjoy the time he spent with his shorter teammate. Since they seemed to have the same time and day schedule they often happened to go home together  
and so it came natural that they spent a lot of time together. For many weeks Murasakibara didn't question it.  
It just was convenient to have someone from the same team going home with you since they were able to train a bit more together when they felt like or just sit outside one of the konbinis on their way home,  
munching sweets and snacks in silence. Murasakibara found it relaxing that Tatsuya didn't seemed to care about his habit to not speak at all, he too seemed to be a rather quiet person.  
After their first loss in basketball they comforted each other by just sitting by the others side and share their pain and sadness in silence.  
After their first big win they congratulated each other without a word by patting their shoulders and buy some extra snacks on their way home.  
Words just didn't matter between them. At least that was what Murasakibara though.  
It came quite out of nowhere as one day - they both sat on a bench at the local basketball field after a one-on-one match, Tatsyua suddenly asked: "Say, Atsushi - Have you ever been in love before?"  
Murasakibara looked at his friend a bit confused not knowing in the slightes where that had come from nor what he should answer.  
He hadn't spent many thoughts about love, it was one of those things that requiered way to much talking and to Murasakibara it just seemed like an unpleasant change of his beloved routine.  
Looking back at the field where their ball laid abandoned he just shrugged. "I thought so", Tatsuya said and somehow his smile seemed a bit sad.  
"It's probably too much of a bother, isn't it?" At this, Murasakibara shrugged again and stood up to pick up the ball and leave. "That late already?", Tatsuya asked as he went after his friend,  
face back to his normal smile but the hidden sadness from before still lingering in his eyes.  
They bid their goodbye at Tatsuyas apartment and Murasakibara went home without thinking again about the question his teammate had asked.

He forgot about it for about a whole week until Tatsuya decided to bring it up again. They just had finished training and were at the lockers, changing out of their training gear to get ready to go home.  
"I saw you this morning", the dark haired boy began, looking around to make sure they were the last ones left, "this girl confessed to you, Arata Kanna was her name, wasn't it?"  
Murasakibara made a sound and continued changing clothes. "It's funny that you get a confession this short after we talked about it. Poor girl, you probably didn't even turned her down, you just walked away, didn't you?"  
Murasakibara scratched the back of his head and nodded. Tatsuya sighed. "Atsushi. That's not okay. Go turn her down properly, she deserves as much after working up the courage to speak to you!"  
"Too much of a drag", Murasakibara answered and closed his sport bag. "I figured. Poor thing", Tatsuya said and once again there was that sad glim hiding in his eyes. Murasakibara looked at his friend with a blank expression.  
He had seen that kind of smile before; his mother had worn it for a long time after she had found out that his father had cheated on her.  
"Muro-chin. Do you love her?", he asked, "Arata Kanna." Tatsuya stared at him with a wildly confused expression. "What the hell, Atsushi. No. Where'd that come from?". Murasakibara shrugged and opened the door from the lockers.  
"You should ask her out" he simply said as he left, leaving behind a still heavy confused and somewhat sadder Tatsuya, not realising that the conclusion he had jumped to couldn't be more wrong.  
The next few days, Murasakibara noticed a change in Tatsuyas behaviour. Whenever he tried to approach him, he other seemed to vanish.  
It wasn't like Murasakibara tried that offensive to get close to Tatsuya and it wasn't like they had spent all of their prior days together, but after two weeks it began to bug him.  
And it confused him that he, apparently, had grown to like his teammate and enjoyed his company to the point where he missed him. He liked him enough to change his sacred routine  
and so he did the first thing that came to his mind: He asked out Arata Kanna. The girl was incredibly happy and cried as he told her he'd though about her confession and he'd like to go out with her.  
Surely, Tatsuya was just mad because he'd turned her down the way he did and if he started dating Kanna-chan, his shorter friend will stop being mad. Right?  
Kanna turned out to be quite nice; she was calm and didn't talk much as well. She always brought him self-made sweets and showed up at the gym to see her boyfriend play.  
It was okay even though she didn't understand his silence most of the time like Tatsuya did. But when he looked at her small dark eyes and guided his Hand through her short black hair he was almost sure that he really loved her as well.  
And if he loved her and threated her well it would bring back Tatsuya for sure.  
Except it didn't.

Of course it spread word about how Murasakibara Atsushi had gotten himself a girlfriend and even if no one really could understand how this had happened, they were supportive about them.  
His team liked to bicker about how poor Kanna-chan was with her poor taste in men, but it didn't bothered Murasakibara. What really bothered him, thought, was how Tatsuya grew more distant to him than ever.  
He didn't spent lunch with him anymore and after training he always made sure to leave before Murasakibara, leaving him no time at all to even say goodbye.  
And it made Murasakibara madly confused. Actually, he wasn't as much angry at Tatsuya as he was at himself. Why did it bother him that much?  
Normally, it didn't really matter who was at his side as long as he got to spend his time with someone. Now it was Kanna, so what? Why did it throw him off this much that it wasn't his teammate?  
His routine was safe after all.  
He was angry that Tatsuya hadn't spoken to him at all, he had corrected his mistake with that girl, hadn't he. So what the hell was his teammate still salty about? Hadn't he already gone more than enough out of his way to make up for it? 

A few weeks passed like this until Murasakibara finally had enough.

On a Friday evening after training he asked Coach to let him and Tatsuya stay in late to check their equipment. Coach was a bit confused why their lazy-ass-ace had decided to actually work  
but he was glad as well since he had a daughter waiting for him at home.  
As he went and spoke to the other teen, Tatsuyas face went white and he tried to answer hastily, but Coach had already left the gym before he could protest.  
"Muro-chin", Murasakibara began, but before he could say anything else, Tatsuya had started to speed-walk towards the exit.  
Anger rose within Murasakibara. He wouldn't let the other slip away again; this time he had to spit out what the hell this all was about.  
Being as big as he was, Murasakibara reached the entrance shortly before his teammate and being as broad as he was he managed to block the door completely. "Muro-chin", he said again, "are you mad?"  
"Mad?", Tatsuyas voice shook with boiled up anger. "I'm not mad, Murasakibara-kun. I hate you!!"  
Murasakibara felt a pang in his chest. Not even as they had met first Tatsuya had ever called him "Murasakibara-kun".  
Claiming that his name was way too long he had called him by his given name since the beginning and it somehow hurt the purple-haired boy to hear this had changed.  
Tatsuya hated him? But why? What had he done? He hadn't changed anything at all! Except for..  
"I've been in love for weeks, for fucking months! Almost since I started at this school I've always been in love, I've put up with all of your non-speaking bullshit and your moods and I quitted my part-time job just to spend my way home with you.  
I let you copy my notes from school, hell I even started a fight with Taiga because of you. And then you just go and date Arata Kanna and..how could you do this to me?!"  
The last words were whispered, tears streaming down Tatsuyas face.  
Seeing his friend crying really threw Murasakibara off. He couldn't understand anything at all. This was the first time in an eternity that they finally spoke to each other and now this.  
Murasakibara considered asking what this was all about, but Tatsuya again beat him to it.  
"Don't ask. I know exactly what you're about to say. Maybe try considering others feelings more. Learn to read a situation." His voice was calm again but the tears still leaking out of his eyes called his calmness lies.  
Murasakibara racked his brain about even one single thing that could give him a lead at what to do.  
Why did this happen? Why did the sadness, the tears and the anger directed at him hurt that much? He didn't care what other thought about him at all, so why had he the urge to start crying himself?  
Why did he want to wrap Tatsuya in a hug and apologise? Apologise for what, even? What had he...oh.  
Oh.  
But.. this couldn't be true, could it? Sure his friend would've told him. He wouldn't stay silent about it all and watch his love go date someone other? Tatsuya was a strong boy and he always was determined about what he wanted to happen.  
This wouldn't be any different with love, would it?  
But somehow all of the pieces finally fitted to a whole and Murasakibara could kick himself for not noticing at all.  
The talk they had about love this day, Tatsuya being sad about Arata Kanna confessing to Murasakibara - it all made sense. But why had Tatsuya lied?  
"Is..", Murasakibara began to speak, he didn't liked it the least that his voice sounded small, "is.. so it was true, after all. Muro-chin loves Kanna-chan. And now he is mad at me for dating the girl he'd loved for months.  
Muro-chin, I'm-"  
Tatsuya began to laugh. But it wasn't his normal laugh, warm and soft and filled with joy, it was a cold laugh biting in Murasakibaras ears, hurting him to the core of his being.  
"You IDIOT. Not Kanna. You. It's you I'm in love with!“ Tatsuya spit out, voice venomous and deadly. "Go die for all I care!!" And with these words he pushed his teammate away from the door and stormed through the door.  
Murasakibara stood were he'd been left, spellbound for a few seconds, trying to get what he just had heard.  
Himuro Tatsuya was in love with him.  
And, finally, he understood.  
The warmth he had felt, his desperation to repair their friendship, him enjoying spending time with Tatsuya-  
Himuro Tatsuya was in love with him.  
And Murasakibara Atsushi loved him too.

Desperate to reach Tatsuya he sprinted after him, leaving the school gate behind and running straight to the bus stop a few metres away.  
"Muro-chin!", Murasakibara yelled after him, trying to catch his attention. "Muro-ch..TATSUYA!"  
This had a way bigger impact on the boy running in front of him. He stood still, shoulders shaking.  
Murasakibara strode with wide steps to the other boy and right as he stretched out his hand to wrap the other in a hug,  
Tatsuya whispered: "Just.. no. Sorry, Atsushi, I can't do this right now.." and he stormed off, across the street without caring about the traffic, and suddenly he was drenched in the headlights of the approaching bus.  
Murasakibaras body moved before he even realised what was happening.  
He jumped after Tatsuya, wrapping him in his arms and trying to lessen the impact of the hit.  
He heard glass shatter, people screaming and then everything went dark.


	2. -but first, we live!

The days after Tatsuya had finally woken and heard about Murasakibara went in a blur. He runs through different stages of grief and horror as well as feelings of guilt and fear.

At first, he didn't felt anything at all.   
After Kagami had told him what he knew and Tatsuya remembered the evening of the accident, he was left with emptiness and the inability to feel.  
The friendly women from before had told him that his arm was broken in two places and he had a severe concussion, but other than that he went away unharmed.  
Due to his almost 48 hour unconsciousness he had to stay in the hospital for a while to monitor how his concussion would develop or rather how it would degenerate.  
Even though a lot of people visited him Tatsuya spent those days staring into nothingness and he hardly ever spoke.

Then he cried for three days straight.  
Whenever he was awake the tears wouldn't stop and he felt like drowning in all this sorrow and sadness he felt.  
All those piled up feelings regarding the accident and the boy he loved being on the verge of death as well as the unrequired love he'd felt for months, all this agony from the last few weeks, watching Murasakibara dating someone else, his self-hate because he couldn't bring himself to get over it and move on, the anger regarding Murasakibara's talent to be a prick without intending to be.  
It all flowed out of him and as the tears finally run dry, he felt exhausted beyond cure.  
Through all of these states, Kagami remained at his side, talking about school and basketball and how annoying Kuroko's friend Aomine was. Tatsuya welcomed his rants as something familiar in this sea of insecurities and uncertainties. They never spoke about the accident or the boy lying somewhere in this hospital fighting for his life, and for this Tatsuya was grateful.  
He wasn't sure if he was able to talk about it yet.  
On the first day he had told Kagami everything about their fight and that he just hadn't seen the bus approaching, that he had been so confused and angry and sad. Kagami knew about his best friends crush on his teammate for a while now. In fact, that had been the reason why the two of them had fought a while ago.  
Kagami tried to explain to Tatsuya that the purple-haired giant won't notice shit until Tatsuya told him directly, but Tatsuya was scared to do so. He didn't even knew if the other was interested in boys, girls or if there was anything besides basketball and snacks that went through his thick skull.

As Tatsuya had told him what had happened this evening, Kagami just listened and didn't comment on it. All he cared about was that Tatsuya was alive and would get well sooner or later, at least physically.  
And even though Kagami didn't actually knew Murasakibara he prayed to all gods out there to let the other live, for the sake of his best friend.  
Since he wasn't family and no close acquaintance of Murasakibara he wasn't allowed to visit. But he managed to overhear a talk between two persons who looked like the parents of the comatose teen. About how he had a severe brain injury and a broken skull which caused him to be unconscious as well as several broken rips and a shattered pelvic bone. Apparently there was more, but Kagami didn't want to be caught eavesdropping on worried parents so he went away. He had heard more than enough anyway. He wasn't exactly versed in the field of the human body and doctor's stuff, but even he realised that it sounded that even if Murasakibara woke up there was a really big chance of him being disabled.  
He didn't told Tatsuya what he had heard.

The day Tatsuya could leave the Hospital was sunny and warm, and since he really felt a lot better he decided to take on Kagamis Invitation to get some ice cream. His parents had to work so they were thankful that Kagami offered to help Tatsuya bring all his stuff home.  
There has been quite much in Tatsuyas room, Gifts from visitors as well as his personal stuff brought by friends and his family.   
After everything was brought to his room at home the two of them headed towards their usual cafe called "Ice-balls". As they first found it they've laughed at the name for a solid thirty minutes and immediately decided to make it their base. The two owners were friendly and really funny, one of them lanky with pinkish hair, the other with a permanent sleepy face and dark, curly hair.   
Even though it had been over 14 days since the accident Tatsuya noticed that it still looked the same.  
They ordered their usual stuff and held light conversation about what Tatsuya had missed the most in the hospital and how he felt about going to school again next week.  
Tatsuyas concussion had healed and he only felt dizzy now and then when he shook his head to fast, his arm however - still in a cast - would take a while longer. The doctors weren't able to make an exact promise, but they said he was banned from anything beyond daily movements for at least three months.  
And unfortunately, basketball didn't count as "daily movements".  
He had already got a call from his Coach who couldn't make it to the teams official visit, and he had invited Tatsuya to come and watch their training while he was banned from the sport itself.  
But Tatsuya wasn't sure if he'd be able to just sit by and watch.

Kagami told Tatsuya about a new strategy his team captain had introduced to him and his teammates and how difficult and unnecessarily complicated it was.  
"I mean.. just slam the damn ball in through the damn basket, that's it", Kagami muttered and Tatsuya laughed at the simple-mindedness of his friend.  
He still wasn't back to his normal laugh, Kagami registered with a somewhat sad smile.  
Soon after, they left the cafe and after Kagami had hugged his friend and told him how relieved he was that he way better now, both of them headed to their homes.

Tatsuya managed to stay off the basketball field for a solid week before he wasn't able to hold back any longer.  
School was okay even if it was a bit of a drag with only one usable arm, but his friends were more than willingly to help him.  
There used to be another person who always used the word "drag" and it somehow hurt thinking about it. Tatsuya wasn't sure why.  
After school he directly headed home not bothering to visit his teammates. It was hard enough to not play as it was.  
It somehow felt strange going home alone and Tatsuya wasn't exactly sure why, but he blamed all this time he had spent alone in his hospital room that he just wasn't comfortable with being on his own anymore.  
Since Kagami's school was a few train hours away he wasn't able to spend much time with him, so he often walked through the town, at a loss what to feel or think.  
Something always felt wrong, but he didn't know what.  
On a particular lonely afternoon on Friday where he had no school, Tatsuya decided to visit Kagami. The change of scenery would do him a favour and seeing his friend again would be great, so he boarded the next train and wrote a short message to his friend, informing him about his planned visit.  
He didn't get an answer and Tatsuya assumed that Kagami was either still at school or at training.

After the long train ride Tatsuya felt a bit stiff, so he decided to walk to Kagamis school instead of taking the bus.  
He didn't know exactly where Seirin Higschool was, but normally a school as big as Seirin wasn't that difficult to find.  
Somehow Tatsuya managed to get lost twice, but thanks to a friendly ship-owner he finally stood in front of the school gate.  
It was already noon and Tatsuya feared that his friend had already left and went home.  
He checked his phone and as he saw that there were still no replies he decided to go and try his luck in the schools gym.  
Turned out, it was the right guess.  
He heard the squawking of shoes and the sound of the ball as soon as he entered the building and a warm but somehow sad feeling overcame him. It had been way too long..  
"Tatsuya!!" the loud voice of his best friend brought him back to reality. "What the hell are you doin' here?" Kagami stood next to the basket on the other side of the field, drenched in sweat but with a bright smile on his face. Next to him was his small teammate Tatsuya knew as Kuroko, sweating as well and drippling with a ball.  
"Sorry, Kuroko, can we take a short break?"   
The light-blue haired teen nodded and went to the wall next to them where their water bottles waited.   
"Yo, Taiga!", Tatsuya greeted as the other jogged over to him. "Well.. you see, I was really bored and had no school and so I decided to come and visit you. It has been way too long anyway." "Err.. yeah.. 'm sorry, I was kinda busy with training and school and.. you know-" Kagami scratched the back of his head looking a bit guilty. "Don't sweat it, it's okay! There's nothing we can do about the distance, other than you moving, I mean", Tatsuya smirked. "Yeah, well.. Coach was mad enough at me for skipping for two weeks, so I had to promise to work even harder now."  
Now it was Tatsuyas turn to feel guilty. Kagami had skipped school and basketball for a whole 14 days just to stay by his side while he was in hospital. And now he came and made him feel bad about living his life again. What kind of friend was he?  
"Sorry, Taiga. I didn't meant to-" "I don't mind", Kagami laughed and led his friend over to Kuroko and they talked for a bit about basketball and how Tatsuya had been in the past few weeks.  
Tatsuya didn't know Kuroko that well, but someone had told him a whole fucking lot about the quiet boy. Who has it been, again? Surely not Kagami.  
As he told Kuroko about how his arm was healing, Kagami took the ball from the ground and dribbled around his friends to try and land a dunk in one go. He failed and Tatsuya laughed at Kagamis disappointed face while Kuroko scolded his teammate with a blank face.  
"We're almost finished, do you mind wait for a bit, Tatsuya?", Kagami asked while returning to the two of them. "Not at all", Tatsuya smiled. He felt like it would do him some good to watch them play.  
"A bit" turned out to be almost a full hour and while Tatsuya sat on the side and watched the two of them dribble and shoot and scream (at least in Kagamis case) he felt the urge to go and play himself. It really had been way too long since he last had held a ball and his fingers were twitching.   
It wouldn't hurt to just shoot once, would it? It had been almost a month after all, his arm wasn't in a cast anymore and he was allowed to use it more freely. Just this once was okay, wasn't it?  
As Kuroko and Kagami took their next break, Tatsuya strode over to them and picked up the ball lying next to Kagami. The familiar feeling of the leathery ball almost made him cry and he felt a shy happiness rising in his chest. It HAD been way too long!  
"Oy, Tatsuya, you shouldn-" Kagami began and stopped drinking immediately. "Cm'on, Taiga.. I won't do anything crazy, I promise! It has been almost a month and I just want to feel the ball a bit.. it will be okay!" he voiced what he had though before but Kagami didn't looked convinced. "But the doctors said you shouldn’t play until at least three months after getting off your cast." Tatsuya made a face at Kagami but he knew his friend was right. But he wanted to shoot just once soooo bad! "Pleaseeee Taigaaa", he whined.  
"What'cha thinking, Kuroko?", Kagami asked his teammate. "I think you should listen to the doctors, Himuro-kun. But if you are even half as stubborn as Kagami-kun, then I know I won't be able to Change your mind." Kuroko said with a stern face and an even voice.  
"Kuroko, whaddaya mean with this, eh?", Kagami looked at the other with a sour expression. They both turned around as Tatsyua began to laugh. "Well, maybe I am", he said, still laughing. Seeing his friend smile without a strain was the last bit to Kagami. "Alright. But I ain't gonna pick you up if you turn yourself in pieces again. Know your limit!" he said, face half angry half relieved.   
"Yess, sir~" Tatsuya teased and began to dribble towards the basket. He carefully made sure to use his healthy arm. As much as he wanted to play he really didn't want to lengthen the time-out forced upon him.  
And for a while, he felt truly happy.  
It was great just to feel the ball and hear the sounds he liked so much. He took it easy, just shooting and dribbling. It made him a big angry that he missed almost all of his shoots, he hadn't trained in way too long.  
After a while he asked Kagami to do a light one-on-one and Kagami agreed happily.  
It had only been a few minutes in to their game that Tatsuya felt that something was off.  
It was this now-familiar feeling that something was missing that he have had for a while now, but experience it after it had been away for a bit seemed to make it even stronger.  
His chest felt tight and his body sore and suddenly, he remembered lying on a street, hurting all over.  
The accident. But why-  
He slowed down as he watched Kagami defend the basket, trying to prevent Tatsuya from making a point.  
He used to do this with someone else, Tatsuya suddenly remembered. He used to do one-on-ones with someone other than Kagami, when it had been already dark outside on empty basketball fields in random parks.  
He used to do this with someone way bigger than Kagami. Someone with purple hair and a lazy attitude.  
Atsushi.  
The Name ringed in Tatsuyas head and suddenly he got consumed by all the memories he had put away so carefully, Murasakibara Atsushi protecting him from the bus, Murasakibara Atsushi in a coma.  
And right where he had stood, in front of Kagami, Tatsuya broke down.

As Tatsuya woke up, he had kind of a deja-vu. He stared at a white ceiling, his body ached and from somewhere to his right he heard a beeping.   
Had it all been a dream?  
Maybe he had dreamt about waking up while actually being in a coma himself, maybe HE had been the one taking the major damage, maybe Atsushi sat right next to his hospital bed, sleeping. Maybe-  
Tatsuya turned his head to his side, almost excited, until he realised that Atsushi wasn't there.  
And he wasn't in a hospital bed, either.  
As much as he could tell, he laid on a sofa with a really awful brown and yellow pattern, his head was supported by a pillow shaped like a basketball, it looked worn down and often used, the same as the thin blanket he was covered with.  
This pillow, it had been a parting-gift to Kagami back in America.  
So he was in Kagamis apartment.  
Tatsuya winced as he sat up, his shoulders felt stiff and his head hurt a bit too much. As he guided a hand through his sweaty hair he realizes that there was a cooling pad on his forehead, even though it was only "cool" by the name.  
A bit engrossed he removed the sticky, heated up pad and tried to get up.  
"You shouldn't do this, Himuro-san." Tatsuya almost jumped a feet in the air at the sudden voice talking from his right.  
"You should take it slow." Tatsuya closed his eyes for a few seconds until the pounding in his head ebbed down a bit, then he looked over to the owner of the voice.  
It was a boy with light-blue hair and an expressionless face, tipping on his mobile phone, causing the beeping Tatsuya earlier had mistaken for hospital monitors.  
"Kuroko.. Did'ya try to give me a heart attack? Where'd'ya come from all of a sudden?" Tatsuya mumbled.  
"I'm terribly sorry, Himuro-kun. I have been here all the time while you were out cold."   
"Kurooookooo!", a loud voice was heard from a door a few feet away from the sofa Tatsuya was sitting on, "ya really need to get rid of that habit of yours. Stop scaring everyone, Jesus Christ!"  
"I'm sorry, Kagami-kun. I didn't intend to scare anyone." Kuroko said, looking on his phone again.

Kagami entered the room with a glass of water which he gave to Tatsuya. His friend took it thankfully and drank it and somehow he felt a bit less like shit.  
"How'ya feeling, Tatsuya?", Kagami asked, face stern and worried. "Quit the grimace, I've never felt better", Tatsuya tried to lighten the mood, but apparently with no effect. "I mean.. " he added after a short silence, "my head hurts, my body feels really sore and I'm a bit dizzy. But that aside, I'm okay."  
With a heavy sound of relieve Kagami plopped on a chair next to the sofa. "I'm so glad. I thought you're done for this time for sure. You gave us quite the shock, breaking down like this, crying and collapsing in front of us. And as we took you to my apartment you had a fever, too. Well, you gave me a shock at least, I'm not sure if "shock" is a possible feeling for Kuroko anyway." "Kagami-kun, please don't be mean. I was scared as well" the quiet boy replied. "Oh well.. " Kagami simply said.  
"I'm sorry." Tatsuya didn't dare to look at one of the other teens. He was kind of embarrassed thinking about how he had started crying like a toddler and on top of all collapsing and causing the others inconveniences.  
"I.. I didn't want to scare you. I just.." he began, but soon was silenced by a warm hand on his shoulder.   
"It's okay. We know. Well, or at least we kind of know since we couldn't make out everything you told us while crying but.. I think we got the major point. And it is okay, really. I'm glad you were able to let it all out" Kagami wrapped his other arm around Tatsuya and took him in a short but intense hug. Tatsuya felt like crying once again, but this time it was because he felt relieved. Kagami wasn't a man of many touches so this gesture meant all the more to Tatsuya.

Tatsuya decided to stay the weekend at Kagami's.  
He hadn't to do anything anyway and he figured the company would do him a benefit to his mood.  
After he told Kagami and Kuroko - properly this time - about his feelings for Murasakibara and how scared he was that the other may never wake up and how guilty he felt because it had all happened because of him.  
How he had hoped to just move on and forget about anything but it didn't work.  
That Murasakibara - if he woke up - probably hated Tatsuya forever.  
"I don't think so.", Kuroko had jumped in on his monologue, "I've spent a lot of time with Murasakibara-kun and not even once did he go out of his way for someone else. So, he must really hold you dear to jump after you. He's as simple as that, you know."  
Tatsuya didn't know how to answer this and so he had remained silent.  
They had talked about other topics after, watched a movie and fell asleep early in the morning.  
Tatsuya was kind of surprised that Kuroko had, too. He somehow had thought that the other boy would go to sleep on the same time every day. But apparently, Kuroko wasn't that different from other teens. Just really calm and cautious.

As they woke the next morning - or rather afternoon - they sleepily cleaned the mess they've had made the night before and around four p.m. Kuroko bid his goodbye. Tatsuya felt that it made him somehow sad, he had quite grown to like the other teen and he absolutely could understand why Kagami liked his company this much even though they truly were like light and shadow compared to each other.  
As sad as he was seeing the other go, the bigger was the joy as he showed up at Kagamis apartment the day after again.  
Kagami and Tatsuya had done nothing but lying around, playing video games and talking about a girl Kagami had met a while ago and couldn't get out of his head.  
"And you sure that her face wasn't round and orange and she actually just was a basketball?" Tatsuya had joked, mildly surprised that his best friend could be focused on anything else than his favourite sport. Like Murasakibara, but Tatsuya tried not to think about the other too much.  
"Waddaya mean with this, eh?", Kagami had answered, blushing, and this had been such a great sight that Tatsuya couldn't resist laughing out loud.  
"I'm truly sorry for interrupting you two, but I have quite the news", a calm voice reached out to the two of them and they both spun their heads to the door where a somewhat drenched Kuroko stood. "Fucking hell, Kuroko. I told'ya to quit this, haven't I?", Kagami muttered as he went to the bathroom to go and get his teammate a towel. "I'm sorry, Kagami-kun, but you two seemed quite busy and didn't noticed me enter." Kuroko took the towel with a short "thank you" and sat on the sofa next to Tatsuya. After Kuroko had finished rubbing the water out of his hair and his face he broke the silence once again, and even though his voice was quiet like always, Tatsuya felt like he had screamed at him: "Himuro-san. Murasakibara-kun has woken up."

Tatsuya managed to make excuses why he couldn’t visit Murasakibara for a solid week before Kagami finally had enough and forcefully dragged him to the Hospital by feigning being ill.  
At first, Tatsuya got mad and yelled at him for "betraying" him like this, and then he feigned ignorance and tried to leave. It wasn't until Kagami blocked the entrance and forced him to stay that Tatsuya finally broke down. Tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes and his hands were shaking as he grabbed his best friends’ sleeve. "I'm not ready, Taiga. I can't see him, I can’t. Please let me go, I can't do this". The dark-haired Boy desperately begged.  
"Yes, you can", the other teen replied and took Tatsuyas Hand. "Let's go together."  
"But.. but I don't even know how he's doing, if there was any irreparable damage or-" Kagami stopped and stared his friend: "How'bout you just ask? Kuroko told me a bit about and I just can tell you as much: He wants to see you"  
Tatsuyas eyes grew wide and for a moment Kagami was sure he'd run away. But to his surprise the other wiped his eyes and his expression got determined. "Let's do this!" he said, barely more than a whisper, but it was clear that he had made up his mind.  
"Yeah! C'mon!"

Shortly after they stood in front of a white door, the small sign next to it telling it was Murasakibara Atsushi's room. Tatsuya was 100% sure that he was going to die, and with a desperate grasp to the ring he wore as a pendant, he opened the door.  
At first, he saw nothing. Well, yes, he saw a lot of things, but that was the point. He was staring at SO FREAKING MUCH stuff that he wasn't able to even identify one of it. He blinked a few times, trying to get what he was looking at, and little by little all the shapes and colours began to morph into familiar things.  
There were cards, a whole shitload of them, standing on a small table right next to the entrance. On top of them stood a vase with flowers which, Tatsuya almost laughed as he looked at them more closely, turned out to be sticks with marshmallow on them in different colours. Truly, this was Murasakibaras room.  
On the wall in front of him stood the hospital bed with its monitors and a bunch of balloons, orange with basketball-outlines on them, were tied to one of the chairs next to the bed.  
But all Tatsuya was looking for was a flash of purple. However, there was none.  
Instead, Tatsuya was faced with a boy lying in the bed with a shaved and bandaged head. Murasakibara sat propped on pillows and apparently had been looking through a magazine that now was lying on his knees. He was dressed in one of those awful hospital clothing and with a pang in his chest Tatsuya registered that he was bandaged all over. After a soft “go” from Kagami behind him he managed to do a step into the room.   
And another.  
And another.  
And- "Muro-chin".  
Tatsuya froze. Even though he was bald and bandaged and looked so small in this big-ass bed, Murasakibaras voice was the same as ever.  
Save for the absolute obvious surprise his words were drenched in, almost as if he couldn’t really believe that he saw the other for real.  
"Atsushi.." Tatsuya whispered and suddenly, his dams broke.  
He got on his knees, crying and screaming and he begged for forgiveness.  
He begged Murasakibara to forgive him for his foolish action and for not seeing the bus and causing the accident and for confessing and running away, for all the injuries and the pain Murasakibara had to be in, he cried and told him how much he wished for their places to be reversed. He would've gone on with it, weren't it for the harsh but warm hand from Kagami along with his words which cut through Tatsuyas rambling. "Oy, idiot. Quit the shit and listen to him, he's trying to say something."  
Tatsuya hold his breath until he was sure he wouldn't start crying all over again from the spot and then he looked at Murasakibara.   
And he was totally flabbergasted as he saw tears in the other’s eyes as well.  
"Muro-chin. Don't. It's okay. 'm alive and everything is okay. Just.. don't. I'm just happy were both okay."  
Furiously wiping his eyes, Tatsuya got on his feet again. "Sorry. I'm sorry, just.. I'm feeling so guilty. And I was so so scared that you'd die. I'm sorry"  
Murasakibara smiled through his tears, the lazy, unimpressed smile Tatsuya hadn't seen in what had felt like forever. "I'm not dead," the other teen answered.  
And luckily, the accident didn't cause any permanent damage. I won't be able to walk for a long while, though, broken pelvis 'nd stuff. But that means I got to be served which is nice. Walking is such a pain in the ass." At this, Tatsuya laughed. It was so like Murasakibara to say this and hearing that there weren't any permanent problems made him relieved beyond everything.   
After a long while, Tatsyua finally felt light again. Murasakibara was okay. He was okay.  
"However", Murasakibara started and his face had an unfamiliar serious expression which made Tatsuya's heart skip a beat. Of course there was a but, OF COURSE.  
"However", Murasakibara said again and now he was looking straight at his teammate. "I'm wondering, Muro-chin. Is it true what you just said? Are you sorry for confessing to me?"  
Tatsuya stared at him in blank horror and he tried to grab Kagamis arm for support, only now realising that the other was gone. What? Why did he bring this up now? Why- Once again, Murasakibara began to speak:" Did you lie back then and now you are sorry for it? Did you lie when you said you're in love with me, Muro-chin?"  
"NO".   
Unplanned, Tatsuya had yelled the words at Murasakibara. Hastily he added in a calmer voice: "No, I didn't! It was the truth, it still is. But.. since you don't feel the same I just.. I just thought I'd apologize properly for causing all this. And I don't want you to feel uncomfortable being with me because of it. And I don't want Kanna-chan to hate-" "I broke up with her" Murasakibara suddenly said.  
"-me." Tatsuya finished his sentences before realizing what the other just had said. "You.. what? why"  
"Because I don't love her. I love you.", Murasakibara answered and Tatsuya felt his heart starting to beat a million miles per second. "You.. " he tried to answer but the words got stuck in his throat. "I dated her because I wanted you to be friends with me again. I thought you're mad at me because I didn't turn her down. And I think, I also saw you in her sometimes. You're pretty similar in some things. Tatsuya. I love you. And 'm sorry. I was an idiot."  
Tatsuya felt warmth spread in his body, beginning in his toes and wandering up all the way to his fingers and to his head until he was sure his heart would explode. Murasakibara loved him. Not Arata Kanna, not anyone else. He loved him, Himuro Tatsuya. Once again, Tatsuya started to cry. But this time, out of pure joy.

And if he got to sleep this night with a huge grin on his face, than it may or may not had something to do with the feeling of soft, big lips still lingering on his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> If you found the Haikyuu-reference, congrats! You're awesome!


End file.
